Thoughts During My Workout Last Night – Part 4

Updated: April 30, 2015

This working out again has placed me in a weird moment, and for me.  I mentally went back to my training days, and my days being deployed with a 120 pound ruck sack every step of the way, wanting to push myself beyond my physical abilities and go farther and faster than those around me. I know Special Operators all have a very competitive nature and are able to go into the zone and block all of their self-defeating thoughts, replacing those thoughts with extreme focus, focusing on the end result and that great feeling of finishing or completing a tasks others can’t do, or just be better than those around you.

This all goes to having the ability to visualize the outcome of your commitment and efforts in the middle of pain and discomfort.  This visualization transcends not only to physical pain and discomfort, it relates to the mental outcome of your efforts and defense.  You may not be physically better than your attacker, but if you are mentally superior, you can affect the outcome exponentially.  Awareness, intuitiveness and that cultivated “gut feeling” we all have but ignore, will put you ahead of any opponent! This desire to drive on, builds better people. People who are psychologically committed and can look past the obstacles, keeping their eyes on the horizon or target. This takes extreme focus and the ability to ignore pain and being tired. With this mentality you can stay in the game.

There are two sides to everything in life. In this case it could be extremely dangerous when a person that doesn’t quit; loses self-discipline and starts drinking, doing drugs, bar fighting, being abusive to others, because all you can see is your own pain, pain you learned to erase and live beyond for many years by simply being goal oriented and driving through to the end and for many, a sure sign of PTSD, especially in the case of our esteemed U.S. Veterans.  The challenges from your work and teammates and in combat you may have developed through the years and the rigor of being the best! This side of the coin can lead to negative actions and obsessive behavior. One thing about this behavior is our desire to see everything through to the end! This is especially true with some veterans that have PTSD and nothing to look forward to. It’s like a ship put out to sea without a rudder. Think about it, if there is no end in sight, nothing to complete or finish, we can become victims of our training and experiences, leading some down very destructive paths. I’m talking about guys who never threw the towel in and never failed, now … not having perceivably any future or hope. Just living day to day and trying to fit in makes it incredibly difficult.

With me, I was and still am one of those guys, trying to make it work, having no answers and not being able to see the finish line, except getting old and just fading away. It is so difficult simply not feeling important or appreciated. This is why I have come from the darkness and out into the public eye. This is why I am putting my technical and tactical real and training experiences to work and sharing it with others.


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